Losing your virginity. Some people are excited, some people are scared. That is because no one really knows what to expect. All girls hear about is how it will hurt, and they’ll bleed, and then they’ll fall in love with whoever they have sex with. Also for the purpose of this post I’m just going to be talking about straight sex. Girls expect it to be a magical romantic moment, when in reality it’s probably just some fumbling in the dark.
For guys the reality is, there may be a few complications the first time, or even any time you have sex. Firstly it can be difficult for men to get hard before sex, and there’s not much you can do with a floppy penis. Also most peoples first sexual experience won’t last very long! The average length of sexual intercourse is 4 minutes. Now, I know that doesn’t sound very long but you have to think of the one-minute men that lower the average. So for your first time it may be a lot shorter than that. But it could be a lot longer as many men struggle to finish during their first time. This is all perfectly NORMAL. Don’t feel embarrassed about it because it happens to everyone. If it caries on being a problem then go to a sexual health clinic or GP, again there is nothing to be embarrassed about.
For girls the main expectation is that it will hurt, and it will IF you don’t do it properly. I know you’re thinking “Do it properly? It’s not that hard!”, but a lot of people feel pain because of a couple of things. This is why it will hurt:
- You aren’t wet enough. When a woman gets aroused her vagina produces a natural lubricant, and if your scared or nervous you won’t produce it. Trying to have sex with a dry vagina is like making a fist and trying to push your fingers through it.
- You’re tense. When you’re scared you tense up and your muscles in your vagina will contract and you wont be able to fit a penis in it until you relax.If you try to have sex and it’s painful STOP!
To make sure you have a good first sexual experience, firstly you should be sleeping with someone you trust and are comfortable around. You don’t have to be in a relationship with them or have only known them one night, no matter what society tells you. As long as you are happy with any decision you make no one can judge you. I recommend using lube the first time just to be sure you’re wet enough, and if it isn’t working keep trying. It took me seven attempts to have sex the first time I did it, but that’s fine! Also, think about what you’re doing. Sex is funny, and if you can’t laugh about that with whoever you’re with then you shouldn’t be sleeping with them.
Of course, make sure you are being safe ALWAYS use condoms and another form of contraception too if possible. It’s always a good idea to use two, just in case!
Have a great day! Xx