I want to start this post by saying it contains explicit content, as I give you a step by step through oral sex. So if you are young and don’t want to know about oral sex please don’t read any further!
Sex education at the moment rarely talks about pleasure, only safety. So in this post I’m going to tell you about oral sex for both men and women.
Oral Sex – sexual activity in which the genitals of one partner are stimulated by the mouth of the other; fellatio or cunnilingus.
Now I’m not going to use the technical terms “fellatio” or “cunnilingus” because I don’t like them and they sound too sciencey. But for the sake of this post I will refer to oral sex on both men and women as a blowjob or oral.
Firstly oral sex should be reciprocal, that means you should give it as much as you get it. I don’t mean you should do anything you aren’t comfortable with, but if oral is a regular part of your relationship you should be reciprocal. I can’t help but feel that oral sex for men is expected but for women, it’s a treat for them. As much as someone may say they enjoying giving oral sex I can whole heartedly assure you they enjoy receiving it too.
Oral for guys
The whole point of oral is using your tongue and mouth to pleasure someone. So to start with just start licking his penis, the most sensitive bits are the head and the balls. So have fun with that. You can do it for as long or as short time as you like and you feel comfortable with, but build up and teasing is always a good thing. Then the basic idea is that you move your mouth up and down the shaft of his penis. While you do that you can just use your mouth, use a hand along with it, or play with his balls. Avoid using your teeth as a penis is very sensitive and not something you want to eat. Variation is always a good thing when giving oral sex, this way if your partner really likes something, or really doesn’t, it can be easier to tell. Whilst giving oral sex it is important to focus on your partners responses to what you are doing, like breathing and noises.
Now with guys, obviously there is the inevitable ending of a blowjob. In porn you see women swallowing cum, letting men cum on their faces and in their mouths. All of this is up to you, do not feel pressured to do any of the above. If you don’t want him to cum in your mouth then he doesn’t have too. Equally if you don’t want to swallow you don’t have too. And the same for having him cum on your face. You can just tell him to let you know when he’s close then switch to a hand job instead. If you talk this through with your partner before sex then you should have no problems. However if you talk it through and he still does something you’ve already said you weren’t comfortable with and he does it anyway. That is a blatant sign of disrespect and you should think through your relationship choices.
Oral sex for girls is a lot more complicated as many men don’t know their way round a vulva. Generally girls have more of a psychological side of getting turned on than just “Penis! Let’s have sex!”. So by teasing a girl the more you build her up the better it will be. You could start by kissing her then slowly moving down to the vulva. You could kiss her thighs and all the areas around her vulva. Again teasing her will help. Then lick all of it! Everything is sensitive so it’s all good. Now move on to the clitoris, this is the most sensitive part of a lady. If you are unsure where it is, Google a vulva diagram and have a look as a LOT of men have no clue what they’re doing. Also it can be good to use fingers at the same time. If she says “keep going” or “don’t stop” then listen to her. And as I said before communicate and focus on her breathing and noises to see what she likes.
This was just the pleasure side of things, but safety is still extremely important when it comes to oral sex. I will be writing a blog post about it soon and I will link it here.
Have a great day! Xx